May 11, 2009

Sitting and Staring

Can one individual really measure upon how fair their lives have been? Can one stare up into nothingness and wonder to himself did I make a difference? Is it the right of someone else to judge me or is it my right to differentiate my doings from right and wrong? Is it integrity when you tell someone how much you love them and care for them or do actions speak louder than words? And if actions really do speak louder than words what must I do?

May 1, 2009

My Emo Moment


I really contemplated a lot about myself today. I thought about where I'm going and when I get there will I be happy? I thought about my mother making ends meet and how truly dedicated and devoted she was to making sure she would succeed in life. The one person that I'd never seen eye to eye with is also the person I relate to the most. I thought about relationships that I've burned. I thought about friends that I've seemed to stop investing time into simply talking with. All the time I wondered why I had. And each time I thought about it, I couldn't come up with an answer. Reminiscing about how many friends that had strayed away from me or I had from them. I couldn't fill the gap and hollow feeling I had. I felt overcome with guilt and hatred for what I had done. Is this how I should proceed in life, by taking steps in the wrong direction?